I wake to translucent blue and the rhythm of straw sweeping  across concrete like the rhythm of sunlight glistening on morning leaves.

From walls of stained grimey white wash. I watch my neighbour dutifully  dusting, shuffling cushions and peering almost piously down from her veranda.  The growing neighbourly calls to fast for me to decipher.

Already I feel  a sense of loss – already I am returning before I leave. Somehow the endless ridiculous delays mean again all my projects pause before I return to Australia.  I need a go to person – a reliable fix it man.

There are too many big picture people here who see others are just there to do the manual labour under a facade of paternalism.

Advity says the project manager is not playing power games, but I disagree. He is but it is such a habit he doesn’t even know it.

It is also a distraction. The endless answering another ignoring the life that is in front of you. It drives me crazy. Except, its also like my life. A hundred little goals to finish that distract me from my purpose. I must do this first and then …. Then there is little time for what matters. The endless advertising for distracted minds, grasping  minds that take us from investing time and money where it matters. So I am short changed, trapped until another pay cheque

So what am I Avoiding?

As Romano was our first volunteer there were teething problems for which we are grateful for every ones patience.

Romano’s good English (his native language is German), and Advity and Ranbirs high class Indo-British are confused by idioms.

He too was frustrated. He travelled to India because he wanted to make a difference. To use his practiced expertise.

He was stonewalled

“Bry” Advity had said to me “I want to you to meditate all this week. To be sure of your passion.”

Then obstacles won’t matter.